The Theme for This Week Is:  Nothing! Chelsea is now on hiatus for the summer.
    The first theme for the fall will be the usual "What I Did for My Summer Vacation."     [Old Themes]

NEWS:  The "Millenium Elves" for the 1999-2000 school year will be Jim Maiwurm '00, Jillian Bosman '01,
                        and Robin Smogor '02. Good luck guys, and may the farce be with you!

            Here we have a selection of Chelsea scripts written over the last couple of years. In time, I hope that this will become a sort of  Best-of archive, but for the moment it's mostly my plays. Please note that all of these plays are copyright of their respective authors, all rights reserved. Please contact the author or myself before any public performance of these plays. Hey, we wrote 'em, we wanna know if someone else likes 'em!
    Note: As soon as finals are over with, we'll update this section with more of the plays from spring term.

TV/Movie Parodies
STAR BORES: The Phantom Tickets  Characters from the original Star Wars battle for Phantom Menace tickets.
STAR BORES: A Pre-Emptive Prequel Parody- That's right a parody of Episode One: The Phantom Menace.
                                                                                       Written in January '99, and guaranteed no plot spoilers!
STAR BORES -- Unconventional Parody of Star Wars Part IV: A New Hope
The Trouble with Guest Stars--  South Park vs. PBS in a big ol' kids TV rumble
In Case Of... --  How to survive a TV or movie disaster.

Monolouges
  Take Your Seats!-- Funny and energetic monolouge about the life of a chair.
Words from the Fungi-- A short monolouge by a guilt-ridden psychedelic mushroom
Life of A Salesman- How to sell the most important product of all.
And Now For The Real World- The commencement speech at the Academy for
                                                          Hollywod Action Heroes.

General/Misc/Unclassifiable
And Then It All Went Horribly Wrong, Pt. 1- The beginning of an ongoing serial about two college students
            whose off-campus studies trip goes, well, Horribly Wrong!
The Godfather and the Groundhog- Some good family men attempt to "fix" the outcome of  Groundhog Day.
The Spirit of Arbor Day --  A touching, yet bizarre holiday story.
It's Only a Job--  Bob, the secret ruler of the universe, looks for work.
Hamlet: A Tragedy in Translation--  The "to be or not to be" soliloquey translated
            successively through several  languages and presented in a line-up format. Linguistically
            interesting, if a bit...odd.
Eliminator vs. the Fluffy Bunnies from Hell-  Death to cuteness everywhere!!!
  Eliminator vs. Valentine's Day-  The author was bitter. Reeeeaaal bitter.
  All-A-Wet-Ah!- A French-themed parody of the children's song "Allouetta"
  Professor God-  Undergraduates face the Almighty...in a classroom
  The Twelve Days of Finals- You gotta relieve the stress of winter exams SOMEHOW.
  Writer's Block OR The Trouble With Monkeys-  A publisher's quest for a bestseller
             goes way, way too far.

Local Interest-- Scripts that have Carleton-specific material or situations and probably have too many 'inside jokes'.
The Mighty Misadventures of the PROSPIE PATROL!!-- misfit high school superheroes visit Carleton.
(coming soon) Major Muddle- three very...special...sophomores try to choose majors from a very...special...list.
 

Writing Tips for Chelsea Scripts:                                        [Top of Page]  [Index Page]

  Chelsea actors rarely get to read a script before they get on stage. Format your script clearly and consistently, and  highlight the parts before you come to the theater. It helps. A lot.

   List all the parts in the play at the top of the first page, and put in some character descriptions! 'Bob, a tormented  young    man whose inner demons threaten to engulf him and those around him,' sounds a lot better than 'Bob, a college student.'  Make your parts sound interesting and more people will want to act in your play. The character description will also help the actors, well, get into character.

    BE CREATIVE!!! Everyone has seen Star Trek parodies. Go out on a limb. Write something new. See if the theme or ingredients inspire anything (that's what they're there for) or just start writing. Sometimes if you just come up with a couple of wacky/interesting characters and imagine them interacting, the play will almost write itself.

   Start your play before Friday afternoon. This gives you time to write, revise, and hopefully run your play by a friend,  neutral observer, or anyone you can grab. You may think green socks are inherently hilarious, but if no one else gets the joke, it's better to know about it before they're doing your play on stage.

   Ignore this. Go do your own thing. You may be the William Shakespeare of sketch comedy, and you certainly don't want to take advice from a hack like me. But if you don't write, you'll never know.

Jillian Bosman is a regular Chelsea writer- some of her plays can be found on her Chelsea Page, see her
        general-purpose Carleton Page.

Becky Cunningham was one of the Chelsea Elves for the 98-99 school year.

Dan Harris-Warrick is in Moscow this term, but still has some of his plays and other Chelsea-related material on his page.

Jim Maiwurm maintains this page, and will be an elf next year. This is his Home Page.

Marcus Miles is another regular regular writer (and classics major) who often brings the Greek Gods
                            into...unusual...situations in modent times.

  The Carleton College 'Bald Spot' Page- links to student organizations (like this one) and student home pages (like a bunch
                                                                        of the ones earlier on this page) and much other interesting stuff.

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